The "Shrek" franchise is translated into malagasy as JAZZ GISTA BOGOSY. Also there's five movies here

So I'm gonna try and do a very quick and sloppy blog post with a lot of pictures.

First of all, I'm got transferred! (you can take the Betongolo out of the boy...)

I'm went to an area called Ambohipo, it's essentially the college town area in Antananarivo. It's right next door to betongolo and Elder Horspool worked there for around 7 months, so i already know it pretty well and I'm super excited to work here. My new companion is named Elder Garcia, I also already know him pretty well and we get along great. All in all I'm pretty excited.

***BTW my address, as far as mail is concerned, will not change****

Luckily, i just happened to take a picture of Garcia a few weeks ago, he's modeling these amazing ladders that all malagasy corporations, no matter how high tech, use. they are lashed together out of driftwood and broken electrical cords. In the foreground is Elder Armando, from Mozambique, who i will be replacing in Ambohipo (its a shame he's not facing the camera, hes an extremely handsome man)

a longer shot of the church, ladders, Garcia. and Armando

actually Garcia just forwarded me these pics so you will get to see him and Armandos faces. i like how Garcia is exactly the same in both pics, his comp just suddenlybecomes a lot lighter and a lot less fluent at Portugese (and French and Malagasy for that matter)


And because I'm leaving the 'tongolo, i took a whole bunch of pictures with some of my favorite investigators and members. to quote Samuel L. Jackson in Jurassic Park, "Hold on to yo' butts"

DISCLAIMER: all malagasy houses have terrible lighting (i.e. none) so these pictures are all going to be marred by flash and red eye. I'll just write everyones names today, if i have time ill come back and tell stories. (all names are left to right)

Me, their mentally handicapped older brother who wont tell me his name, Bert, Frere Solo, Josoah, Ahlstrom. Frere Solo is already a member, the rest are his adopted sons. 

Also, because my new area is so close to Betongolo, i got to baptize them with Elder Ahlstrom just a few days ago! It was great, ive been teaching these guys since my first few weeks in country. theyve done so much work and shown so much faith.

*in the second picture* Frere David, Sonja, Soeur Evette and her two daughters, Moi, Lalantiana, Soa

their really cute little girl whose name escapes me, Soeur Tatiana, Soeur Sitraka, Frere Lanto, Ahy

Frere Christian, Za, Frere Andry

Frere Christian again, plus his family and turtle and cat and aho

Mir, Anges, Maryline, Frere Andry Indray

(i like to flip between these two pictures really fast)

Sr Amoussoga, Ahlstrom, Vahia, Helen, Setra, Sr Helens daughter and grandaughter, Kanto, Sr Helens other daughter, saya

Also very cool, while we were tracting we stumbled on some guys who cut up bananas on these big cheese grater things and then fry em up in a big cauldron, its essentially the malagasy version of a potato chip. got some pics of their operation, and some chips 

One thing I adore about Mada is getting to walk around and see all the chinese/malagasy translated english. A lot of gasy clothing is just chinese goodwill, and the sinaos just slap a lot of random english on things cause they think its looks cool (similar to the way a lot of Americans treat Chinese characters). Enjoy some examples

Also i saw a shirt yesterday where the whole shirt, sleeves and everything was printed with the poster for a movie called BOY A. please look it up

another shirt said:

SELF

Portrait

Natur

AddictivE

I wear my sunglasses

it was amazing.

last shirt to mention, the only words on it were: 
11 PM. Man sits next to woman.

Other news of this last week, we FINALLY got to watch conference. Have the most boring pics of the bunch, some Genny C-Frence ACTION shots, the only good part of which is the reappearance of Heiden and Cyusa's faces

Last thoughts about conference, i absolutely loved both of Henry B Eyerings talks, even though in the one about fasting he said Venuatu wrong every single time. Please donate a generous fast offering every month, ive seen church humanitarian efforts work miracles here. though the venuatu thing is unfortunate, cause we have three missionaries from there serving here, and it was cracking them up every time he said it. 

Funny story about one of them: His name is Elder Tavo and he was also trained by Elder Horspool, so that makes us brothers. Anyways, Tavo in the Teny Sakalava dialect means penis, so now he goes by his first name... which is Richard. I thought it was funny. Also hes the prince of his village, he has coral scars from when he went night fishing and had a run in with a shark, he speaks 5 Venuatuan dialects, and can kill a rat in the middle of the night from 4 meters aways with a rock. Go on a mission young uns, youll meet cool people.

Also, i saw a cool bug that had fantastic camoflague

In other animal news, chameleon

and spider

and gecko

ill finish with a bunch of pictures of betongolo and selfies (take the good with the bad people) before we move to Ampohipo

So Ampohipo and Elder Garcia are way cool, im loving it here and finally not having to work in the office is freeing. let me tell you whats gone on

we tracted into this ladies house and she had all the pictures from the first lesson pamphlet pasted on her wall, i thought it was hilarious. they had only leared with missionaries once before and didnt remeber much of it, but they sure loved the free pictures of Jesus. It was nice cause were out of 1st pamphlets right now so we just taught off their wall.

Funfact: the breast pocket of a Croft And Barrow boys white short sleeved dress shirt is just big enough for a pen, pencil, missionary nametag and planner, plus one malagasy sized banana #ThisIsMyGoToLook

We also met somone who had been inactive for 15 years, they had the most beat up yet unread Book of Mormon ever; i liked the look of it so we gave em a new one and i took the old.

I also finallygot a malagasy campaign shirt, which i wear at all times #EdgardRasafindravahyNy FidioTsaraIndrindra

Somebody wrote this on the inside of their apartment complex, translates to "Dont do anything dirty here, not even farting!!!" Dont do anything dirtyis written all over the city, but it doesnt work everyone still litters and pees everywhere; I have not seen a trash can in six months.

accurate representation of the malagasy military

the only good thing ive drawn since i got here

Garcia buys from an epicerie, little home owned street stands that act as grocery stores here. this is where most of our food and living supplies come from, in case yall were curious

and now for a whole bunch of Ampohipo pics, im telling you guys, this place is beautiful

i named this monolith surrounded by trash "The Folly Of Man"

the sun and that car messed with this panarama, but i like the weird confusion it makes

that feel when your happyto be living in a cool place doing cool work

that feel when you realize youve already been doing it for 6 months

P.S.

YA BOY CANT STOP MAKING SUITS

Palm Sunday, more like Balm Funday (the day I purchase all of my balms)

Yes i know that joke is a week old. I wanted to finish this blog post last week, okay? If you really must have a more seasonally appropriate title, just imagine it says Mrs. (Lundi De) Paques-Man.

So first thing i want to say is thank you so much to everyone who writes me letters or emails or sends me packages, y'all are really the best. I know i dont respond timely or sometimes at all, but trust me its always greatly appreciated. I'd like to make a special mention of the Karatassos family, whom i haven't seen for almost 6 years, that sent me a super nice package which i just received the other day. I cant believe you guys remembered me!

So the news this weekend is that its Easter, and i dont know if you remembered what i said about Christmas, but the Monday after Easter is that x2. Likely because everyone already gotten all that troublesome religious remembrance out of the way the week before and so theres nothing to stop people from throwing crazy parties all day long. Our ward's actually throwing a party in the room right next to where I'm typing and i can feel my chair vibrating with every pulsation of Stephanie's "Dontsiky". 

Speaking of bumpin ward easter parties, yesterday at church a guy from the stake came up to the pulpit and announced that the stake Easter party was going to be better than any little ward easter party, was therefore the official easter party, and everyone needed to come. So then our Bishop stood up and told everyone the stake always announces their events too late and never follow through so everyone should come to the ward party. And then our 1st counselor got up and told everyone who was going to the ward party tomorrow to sustain it by a raising of hands and everyone put their hand up. We actually have a really high functioning ward for Madagascar, but it just goes to show that Paques turns everyone into apostates.

is it time for pictures? its time for pictures. 

 

i wanted a picture with these cute kids we always talk to in this neighborhood, but some bizarre lighting turned it from a "record keeping" kind of picture to an "accidental art piece" kind of picture. Yes that girl is wearing a checker sun dress with Minnie Mouse on it that says "MISS YOU" underneath. Have i expressed before how much I love the clothes that find their way to a <3rd world country? ("<3" means both "heart" and "less than three" in this instance) At the Paques party today, my friend Andry was tight, fitted camo sweatshirt that says "fashion" on its with black demin and military boots, a plaid flannel tied around his waist and a gold chain (literally like a bike chain) around his neck. Other fun fact: Andry means "fragrant".

I often find my self shopping at Robert Downey, Jr. and Premenstrual Syndrome when I'm in this part of town 

Elder Razazarohavana insisted that a picture of him would be better than the landscape I was trying to take (he was right)

Oh yeah that reminds me we have two new missionaries living with us, the aforementioned Razaza and Elder Kelsch. I like em both a lot because Kelsch likes to make lime bars and Razaza likes to stand on our balcony and serenade us with his guitar. Dinner and a show.

I like this picture of Ahlstrom

I dont like this picture of me but i do like that it exists, because its from our most recent baptism! Not a convert baptism, Andriana here is Souer Abeline's granddaughter and was ready to be baptized. Andriana asked me to baptize her, which made me really happy because we have this understanding where we're friends even though neither of us can really communicate with each other (I swear speaking in gasy to a kid is even harder than speaking to a drunk).

One last PLS, but let me draw your attention to the roof in the foreground (rusty corrugated tin held down by a variety of rocks and junk). It's pretty indicative of your average Malagasy roof, and pretty similar to the one i cut my head on the other day.

Pictured: said head

I hope y'all aren't expecting a good story, because you aren't getting one. truth is when i walk here i usually look straight down cause just walking here usually takes a very high level of concentration. So I'm just watching the path trying not to step in dog/people poop or fall into the rice paddy on the either side and ran into a particularly low and nasty tin overhang. I'm all healed up now, so unfortunately i wont have any head scars to give me character once I'm bald. It's a shame, I know.

Speaking of injured people (but MUCH more so) I saw what I'm pretty sure is the saddest sight I've ever seen the other day. There was this guy whose legs both didn't work who had to cross a street in the middle of what equates to Malagasy Times Square, and so he just sat on the pavement and dragged himself across the intersection with his hands while cars barely served to miss hitting him, or not at all. He made it across okay but it was pretty horrifying. And then the day before that while we were walking on our way to the bus stop we saw this two story brick building collapse and then at the bus stop this other guy had some sort of stroke or heart attack. All these people gathered round to try and help him but they just fanned him or slapped his face. No one called an ambulance because they are for hire here, and if you take someone to the hospital here your responsible for paying for them. So it took over 30 minutes before someone was willing to hire a taxi to take him... somewhere. I really wanted to do SOMETHING but that's pretty explicitly a bad idea over here because if a white guy is anywhere near an accident like that the first Gendarme that sees you will arrest you on the spot. Not on the desire to keep pinkies in jail or anything, they just know they can get money out of you and that immediately becomes the top priority. 

Maybe almost as sad is the guy i met the other day who makes a living by owning a garbage pile and renting it out to people. You pay a couple hundred Ariary and you get some time to go through the trash looking for anything good, and the opportunity to dump whatever you want. I met another man with a similar job, he runs a movie theatre that shows the french dubs of movies like The Collection (from the makers of Saw 4-8) and Explosive Sabotage, a movie starring Dennis Rodman and few other actors all wearing tank tops in front of an explosion. Dennis Rodman's picture is on the cover twice. 

On a lighter note, a two year old baby distinctly declared "I am God" in the middle of our lesson yesterday... maybe that not a lighter note, in retrospect it seems kind of foreboding..

Another interesting question from one of our recent lessons "Yes, yes, I understand what you're telling me, but why do you let women pray in your church?" (the guy who said that is actually really nice, has a great marriage and family, he was just raised in old Shi'ite Muslim stock) 

Wow I'm a little down now. Let's end with some more positive experiences. I had a very interesting time this week teaching all sorts of things, not just gospel. For example, in one lesson i was kinda sick and coughing and so i made an offhand comment about germs and our investigators just gave us weird look. So we ended up spending about half an hour trying to convince them a bunch of tiny animals live in their body, and some of them make them sick and others try to protect their body. I even got to draw a whole diagram of white blood cell psuedopodia absorbing and emulsifying bacteria. I'm pretty sure they never believed us. Also at one hotely the waitresses tried to charge us 22000 Ariary for a 9000 Ariary meal, not cause they wanted to rip us off but because they didn't understand how to do math. And so we sat there and taught them how to do arithmetic until they understood that we bought the same stuff as everyone else  at the same non-ritzy price. We parted as friends and now when we eat there they happily show us the math they did to ring up our price. I'm proud? Last story: Elder Ahlstrom bought a Rakibolona (a dictionary for Malagasy words in Malagasy) and this lady pulled us aside and asked us what the book was. Soon the whole family gathered around, no one having seen or heard of a dictionary before. And even though we explained and explained and let him read the book, her husband was never able to understand why a book would explain Malagasy words in Malagasy and was convinced it was just way for us translate gasy stuff into french. (We also never convinced him we weren't french.)

I think that's plenty for this week. Misaotra indrindra to those who write, I fady those who don't.